As if you needed another reason to believe that Songsmith is evil

Ok so you’ve all probably seen the horrendous Songsmith ads that have been making the rounds to wild and unintended hilarity. Now, as if you needed more evidence that Microsoft’s attempt at entering some state of relevance is vastly misguided I present you with this

I just saw this on Crunchgear and was as flabbergasted as a very flabbergasted thing on a very flabbergasty day in the lovely town of Flabbergastiville. There are no words.

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Bizarre search terms driving traffic

Just a short post: I’ve had a cursory look through  my blog stats (wordpress’s very own) and am rather alarmed at where my traffic is coming from. It seems the most popular terms which my blog appears has to do with young, red haired girls. Yes, this is due to the blog post of months ago where I discussed the internet-based show Quarterlife by the guys who made My So Called Life. MSCL if you don’t know, starred a very young Claire Danes as a young teen who is distraught and confused and other teenage emotions as well. She dyes her hair bright red in one episode, I mentioned it once or twice in the post. 

I can’t imagine what most people are looking for (/snark), but they must be so disappointed to come across the blog of yours truly. I am especially concerned over a particular person who was looking for ‘red hair cleavage’. The disappointment is practically palpable. I have no idea what ‘red hair cleavage’ refers to but I can only imagine that the resulting blog post was less than satisfactory. The ramblings of a young woman about digital marketing, general geekery, and shoes can only serve as the biggest let down since the Phantom Menace. 

Le sigh, I just realised that repeating my bizarre search terms will probably make matters worse – or maybe it’ll just drive even more BSTs and it can turn into a weekly feature?  What bizarre search terms drive traffic to your site?

The end of the halcyon days of web 2.0?

Much to do has been made in recent months over the impending (although some may say it’s already begun) burst of our second .com bubble in 10 years. In recent months, we’ve all enjoyed the schadenfreude fest on the news, watching the bankers and top douchebags who wrecked the world’s economies get their comeuppance. We thrilled at their saddened faces as they carried their belongings out of their offices in those little boxes – distraught that bottle service at ‘trendy’ hotspots will no longer be amongst their bags of goodies they’d enjoyed for far too long, whilst the people they screwed over try to figure out how to stay in their homes. Of course, this comeuppance was topped with the whole DABA phenomenon – the dominion of douchebaggery crumbles before our very eyes and we laugh.

However, those of us in the digital sector should not be so cocky as we’re in for a rude awakening of our own. It’s life Jim, but not as we know it.

Ok maybe I’m  being rather dramatic but all the signs are pointing to another major shift of the proverbial plates. We’ve had about 10 years of unprecedented growth: anyone with a cool idea that taps into all the crazy shenanigans of the youngin’s could have their company valued for bajillions of monies and live it up! Huzzah! Forget the business plans and ideas to make cold hard cash – make it popular and the VCs and/or other monied types can figure out how to make it spit out cash. 

Those days are pretty much over, and an industry is forced to grow up. It’s highly doubtful that 2.0 will come to a complete end, that the bubble will burst and other cliches as well. I mean, the last big internet-based boom and bust didn’t really break anything, just our complacency and the way things were done. And now it looks like we’re due for another massive spring clean: the ride we’ve been on for the last 4-5 years is coming to an end and we are going to have to do some serious re-thinking.

It’s like the approach of adulthood after a few wild years of teenage insanity – you got away with it then  because you could. Now, we can’t get away with it and we need to grow up and act like adults (*shudder*).  Now we have to have proper business plans, worry about how to make money (and real money, not speculative-someone-will-buy-us-for-insane-cash money) and other things we well. 

So, not only are we all going to suffer the next couple years of recession (thanks bankers!) and job insecurity, but those of us in a relatively young industry (one we chose precisely because it was so young and away from the stuffiness of older industries) are going to have to do some growing up. We don’t have to be happy about it, but we’ve got to do it.

But.. but… who will I look to for guidance?

Hello all. Long time no chat etc etc. I’m kicking off my ‘get my shiz together’ new year’s resolution with a brand spankin’ new post and upkeep of my blog. Today’s topic, boys and girls, hasn’t really much to do with digital marketing per se but rather a rant I’ve been having since last weekend and thought I’d contribute my 2 pence on the matter.

Before I begin, I shall preface this with the following disclaimer: I do realize that this is very unlikely to happen but still… you never know right?

So all this goes back to last weekend, when, whilst watching the news a newsy sort of rhetorical question was asked as a  headline: will The Smiths reunite in ’09? Which immediately brought forth a screech of horror (much to the chagrin of neighboring dogs and their eardrums). How could this happen? Will this happen? Is this true? Wtf is going on?! Has hell frozen over?

Nope – it’s true, this was an actual headline and there was much chat about the possible reformation of The Smiths. But surely, my hero, Captain Cantankerous, the keeper of all things ranty and angry and ‘hey you kids get off my lawn’ fist shaking Mr Stephen Patrick Morrissey (so awesome he need only be referred to by Morrissey) would not give in to the pathetic temptation of more cash and popularity! Would he?!

My concern has doubled in recent times mostly due to the increase of shocking adverts on tv involving rabble rousers, rebels, and ‘anarchists’ from days of yore hawking butter and car insurance (ps: Iggy pop, please quit rubbing glitter paste all over your handbag cleavage. Glitter paste should remain in the dominion of pre-pubescent girls. kthnxbai). 

But surely, Morrissey wouldn’t do that to me, to us? Yes? The world as we know it is devoid of heroes and people to look up to. If the last bastion of cantakerosity and I don’t give a shit-ness gives in, who will I look to for guidance, inspiration, and aspiration? There are few really honest famous people left, people who aren’t full of soundbytes, groomed to within an inch of their lives, acting like trained monkeys in order to fit in with a system or perceived level of perfection.

I can’t believe that he of all people, would back out of his decades-long feud for something so lowly as money or international acclaim. The last 2 years has seen unprecedented numbers of bands getting back together and I’m not so much sure I like this trend. Theoretically, yeah it would be awesome to see The Smiths. However, it would have a sad air of 20+ years too late, not quite right etc etc. But who knows, maybe this rant is all for nought as it is highly unlikely (not impossible, just improbable) that they will reunite. If not for anything other than the fact that I believe Morrissey famously said something like he’d eat his own testicles before that happens.

I guess I can at least hold on to the fact that he’s just released a new solo album and going on yet another world tour (damn tickets selling out in 10mins GAAAH YE GODS!) so it’s not so much likely to happen this year. Or ever. But still, you really can’t take these things for granted.

Let’s hope he sticks to his guns. Anyway, seeing as it’s Sunday and all – enjoy:

She’s ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

So I’ve totally been off the radar for so long, but a lot of changes have been going on. Last most people who used to read this blog knew, I’d left Equator and went out into the big wide world with no contingency plan. Exciting or crazy? You tell me. Most people couldn’t grasp the move but hey, life’s too short and all that.

I am now at Yomego, or DA Group as it was in a former life and pretty happy. It’s definitely a different experience! Anyhoo, whilst not directly currently in online marketing, it is still my chief passion. That and writing (oh yes, back in the day I had aspirations of a literary nature if you could grasp that). I am most definitely back, and most definitely still obsessed with all things online marketing.

I feel a bit overwhelmed, so much has happened since November and so much I want to talk about that I don’t really know where to begin: the atrocity that is this season’s Doctor Who, the tragedy that was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (CGI prairie dogs? WTF?), all the AWESOME campaigns that I’ve seen – including certain campaigns that were total I’ve-seen-that-before-somewhere-deja-vu campaigns which I will name in future posts when I’ve not just polished off the best part of a bottle of Chardonnay and can be bothered with the research.

I kid! Or do I? Either way, she’s alive and kicking and full of geeky excitement and raring to go. And as a side note, should I be worried that the majority recent traffic to my blog has been generated by the search term ‘teen girls with bright red hair’? Hmm… i wonder.

Quarterlife – it’s begun

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A while back I posted a verbal avalanche about a brand spankin’ new show called Quarterlife – produced like a high budget tv show but shown solely on the internet, from the dudes who brought us My So Called Life. Well boys and girls, I’ve just finished watching Part 1 and Part 2 and I must say it could be pretty promising. It takes a bit of warming up to, but once it gets going I definitely think it’s got some legs and will be tuning in next week.

The really interesting bit that I got a bit “oooh” about was I got an email from the Quarterlife site, and it seems they’re setting up a creative and artistic community from the show’s fanbase. You go in, set up a profile and upload your work, discuss the show or whatever you wanted. Could be potentially a bit on the naff side but definitely cool looking and will be setting up my profile to dig into it and see what becomes of it. I wish there were some figures out about the number of people who watched it but I assume that will be coming soon. Also, while there were no lengthy ad breaks you did get a banner featuring Toyota scroll across the bottom of the screen – but you could close it so no major drama there.

All in all, pretty good start and I’m definitely getting into it – and love the whole community they’ve built up, hopefully it’ll take off. Worth a check out – about 20 mins in total and really hearkens back to My So Called Life – just as confused but grown up.

PS: did anyone see Simon Cowell on Top Gear last night? Botox city! YIKES! Plastic-ville. Yeesh!

Where in the world is Kerry?

Ok so I’ve been pretty MIA these past several weeks – so what’s up with that? you may ask. Well, a lot of stuff’s been going on. Firstly, I flew back home to Jordan for my bestest friend’s wedding – quick and shocking as the whole getting together was, she seems happy and in spite of the bridezilla-ness and the need to ply her with Zanax and some champagne it all went super well. I did however, discover that I hate weddings – despite 2 of my closest friends getting married this year, and a number of weddings I’ve been to as George’s plus one. Maybe I’m just wedding-ed out, considering I’m not used to going to too many.

And after all the business around the wedding, a few of the friends from abroad got together and did the whole tour of Jordan and I went along more as translator and token Arabic speaker. It was great – I do love doing the tourist round that you somehow never really end up doing unless someone’s visiting. We all went to Petra overnight, then camping in Wadi Rum, then drove up to the Dead Sea (which is the escape from Amman and all the bullshit during swim season). And best of all, I got a tan – again! Some pics are available here if you care to see. George has more and as soon as he gets his on flickr then I’ll put in a link.

But it was rapidly back to reality and what had become freezy Glasgow on my return and continuing the major job hunt. Yep boys and girls, am still in the process of job getting. I’ve had some really good leads and it’s come down to some final couple but between a rabid indecisiveness and god knows what, things haven’t moved on. More irons in the fire as they say and I’ll keep you posted.

I’ve also found it hard to find inspiration for my writing considering I’ve been out of the game for while. I mean it’s pretty hard to rant about stuff when it’s suddenly not your whole life anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still think I did the right thing leaving Equator. I believe I was pigeonholed into what I was doing, and there was little room for progress and moving up. Plus the challenges moved from learning something new and figuring things out to trying not to allow myself to be run over by the bus on the way to work in the morning (scary when you start contemplating a stay in hospital as preferable but there you go!). I’m not really insane honest, just was very unhappy. But there you go, shit happens and for the most part you learn to deal but sometimes you realize that you’re going nowhere fast. I have always believed that you don’t have the right to sit and bitch and moan and not try to do anything about your situation – so I did.

I still do have a lot of rants, but I guess that’s for another time (still trying to find the diplomatic language here). I do still keep up with some of the blogs that I live by (professionally) and believe it or not with the forum. I am really bummed out that I couldn’t go to the expo and was considering going on my own – but sunshine, best friend, and a tan called! Tough choice that was, I tell ya. And now a days, I spend my time applying for jobs, interviews, occassional gym visit (need to go more!), and catching up with some old friends in the form of John Hughes movies (seriously, they have some great soundtracks). I am a mega stress puppy at the moment though, I hate not working and it’s sorta driving me up the wall. But hopefully this will all be remedied soon.

Anyway, more to come but thought I’d drop a line and share some pics so enjoy!